Think about all your past lovers. What did you love about them and what did you hate about them? Did the one with the perfect smile always forget your birthday? Did the one with the amazing sex drive never get along with your mother? Or did the well-read one never want to go out on the weekends? If you’re with someone now, what would you love to change about them? If you could, would you take the best qualities of each of your lovers and use them to build the perfect lover?
A Romantic Abomination
Before you say “Yes,” consider this: The idea of the perfect lover is flawed. Even if you could build your ideal creature, as Dr. Frankenstein attempted to do, you’d create a romantic abomination. That’s because people aren’t meant to be perfect. They aren’t meant to look perfect and they aren’t meant to be the perfect partners in relationships. It’s a fantasy, and expecting someone to live up to the expectations of a fantasy is unfair. How would you feel if someone expected you to be perfect all the time? You couldn’t be.
It’s unfortunate that people throw away relationships so easily these days. They don’t accept that relationships ebb and flow and that people change and grow. Instead of growing together or riding out the storms, people just give up and walk away and they do it because they think someone better is out there—someone perfect. Then the next relationship comes along and they eventually throw that one away too. They’re always chasing after perfection, but the truth is they’ll never find it because it doesn’t exist.
So how do you love an imperfect person? Well, you’re an imperfect person, so how do you want to be loved? How about with patience, acceptance and unconditional affection? How about with unbridled passion and respect? Sounds nice, right? Well if you want that kind of love from another person, you have to learn how to give that kind of love to someone else.
There Will Be Challenges
Relationships are hard. They’re supposed to be, because anything worth having and worth keeping is. Relationships don’t get easier because you’re with someone who has a large bank account, perfect abs or a great head of hair. No matter who you are and who your partner is, you will experience adversity and something (or someone) will challenge your relationship. It’s inevitable, and if you’re together for a long time, it’s likely you’ll experience more than one relationship challenge.
You’re Missing Out On Love
If you’re looking for someone perfect, expect to never stop looking and expect to feel constantly lonely. You’re going to miss so many amazing, flawed people along the way who would have loved to get to know you and fall in love with you. And know that someone like you, who is also looking for a perfect partner, will miss the amazing, flawed person that is you. Why chase a fantasy when reality can be so fulfilling, romantic, challenging and wonderful?