Breakups have for quite some time been connected with hurt and pain, rejection and a feeling of guilt. In any case, it shouldn’t be that way. It’s a great opportunity to enjoy the separation’s respectable expectations, which include freedom, happiness and the pursuit of true love. In case you’re supposing it’s an ideal opportunity to end your present relationship, here are ways to keep that choice as guilt free as possible.
Face Your Partner
Some people take the coward’s way out and break up with their partners via text or email. Others take the cowardly route of just avoiding or ghosting their partners. Give your partner the respect they deserve by breaking up with them in person. It makes you look mature and it also potentially prevents a big scene. You don’t want to look like a bigger jerk than you have to when you’re breaking someone’s heart.
There’s No “Right Time”
When it comes to breakups, there is no right time. If you’re unhappy, chances are your partner is unhappy too. There is always going to be a horrible boss, rude driver, bad shopping trip or something else that ruins their day. And let’s face it, if you want to leave the relationship, you aren’t too interested in comforting someone who you no longer have romantic feelings for. The right time to break up is now.
Don’t Keep Their Hopes Up
If you’ve made up your mind about breaking up with them, don’t back down when the tears start to flow. Don’t let them guilt you into another chance. If the relationship is over, giving it another chance is only going to postpone the inevitable.
Get In and Get Out
Some of the worst breakups in my life have been the ones that drag on for hours. The worst, in fact, was three hours long. You don’t need to drag a breakup on because it’s only going to delay the start of the healing process for you and your ex. So get in, state your feelings, end things, and get out.
Don’t Blame Them
Breakups are not about placing blame. This isn’t the time to dump all the blame on your partner. Also, you don’t have to go into too much detail. They know the story; they were there. A great rule of thumb is to use “I statements.” For example: “I haven’t been happy for the last six months and I want to end things.”
Leave On a Positive Note
Even if you are mad and frustrated with your partner, it’s best to leave things on a positive note. Don’t give them a reason to feel vindictive and don’t hurt them more. And ex will remember your kind words long after you’ve parted ways.
Remember, it’s Okay to Feel Happy
You don’t have to fake sadness if the breakup makes you happy. Sure, it’s best not to throw your happiness in your ex’s face, but you shouldn’t feel guilty about feeling happy or relieved once the breakup happens—especially if you were respectful and kind in your exit.
Once you’ve done what is best for both of you, you can pursue new love guilt free. Just make sure you take the time to process the mistakes you’ve made in this last relationship.