We often hear that for every person there is one other who is the ideal partner. This partner is a soul mate. The fiction behind this is that if you commit to someone other than one and only intended you will never find true happiness. The whole concept of having a soulmate goes back to the Third Century and the teachings of Plato.
This ideal has been the source of dissolution in relationships. When one partner is dissatisfied, they think the reason is that they are not with the right person. Then they go on to look for the one who will make them complete.
The Greeks thought that each individual person was only a fraction of larger entity. One’s life’s work was to find the missing piece to make themselves whole again.
This sounds good, but is it really possible? It does sound absurd, yet now, even with our modern advancements and thinking we find ourselves seeking the perfect one.
If the perfect soulmate is a real thing, what exactly does that mean? Is it someone with whom you feel an attachment? Or is it the perfect communication partner?
The only one for me.
The danger in believing that there is just one person/soul to complete us is just plain unrealistic. If you convince yourself that there is truly a right one, you can miss out on love and life. You also run the risk of making yourself unhappy as you seek out someone who meets every single one of your requirements.
I’m nothing without you.
A mistake people who are on the soul mate hunt make is they think they need someone else to make them truly whole. All around us we see how there is beauty in discordance. You don’t have to find someone who moves in perfect unison with you; you can find someone who adjust to your rhythms and embraces your differences. This will allow for an equal partnership. If you are looking for someone to complete you, you may find that you are doing all of the work to keep a relationship on track.
Finding the right one
Regardless of whether or not you believe there is just one for you, you can read the signs of a healthy relationship
If you respect each other, your partners thoughts and ideas are just as important as yours. You both openly listen to each other and contribute to make everything better for each other.Rather than getting tired of each other, every day you spend together deepens your attachment. Another sign is that your overall happiness increases.