In other words, these are the people with whom you feel exhausted after being in their presence.
We all know people like this, and they’re pretty easy to identify:
- Maybe it’s your sister who constantly cries on your shoulder, but never does anything to empower herself. She asks for your opinion, but it falls on deaf ears.
- Or perhaps it’s your mom who criticizes everything you do.
- Maybe you feel exhausted after your friend gossips to you about another friend.
I bet you’re thinking of a few energy vampires right now. It’s especially hard when we love and care about these people.
Note: For those of you who are empaths, this can be particularly difficult because you are so open to the feelings of others.
Identify Your Triggers
One thing to keep in mind is that this is not a one-size-fits-all type of thing. What energetically drains you might not drain me and vice versa. Let’s talk about that first:
What drains you? Is it:
- Pessimistic people who chronically complain and always see the glass as half empty?
- Jealousy? Deep down, jealous people are often insecure. This causes them to lash out or bully others. They may not be very happy, and because of this, it’s difficult for them to be happy for anyone else.
- When people don’t take accountability for their own actions and blame their problems on others? Instead of finding their own joy, they expect others to make them happy.
- Judgmental people? These folks may spend time with their noses in everybody else’s business but their own. They judge others and enjoy gossip.
We’ve all had some of these behaviors at one time or another; none of us are perfect. The problem with energy vampires, though, is that these are often their dominant traits.
Keep in mind too that, most of the time, your loved ones aren’t intentionally trying to deplete you. Sure, some folks are mean spirited and say cruel things to hurt your feelings on purpose, but most times this is not the case.
Stop and think for a minute about the energy vampires in your life. Do they have common traits? What are your triggers?
5 Tips for Dealing With Energy Vampires
Now that you’ve identified what and who drains you, let’s talk about some things you can do to feel better. If you’re an empath, I’d encourage you to try the practical and energetic tips. I’m an empath myself, and these strategies have helped me tremendously.
1. Look for the Positive (this is my favorite strategy):
Let’s pretend your mother-in-law is very critical of you, and this makes you feel tired and yucky. Next time you have plans to be around her, try this:
Prior to visiting or calling her, take a few minutes and focus on the good things about her. Even if you find her unpleasant, dig until you can at least come up with something good about her. The more things you can find, the better!
Here are a few examples:
- Even though she nags, her intentions are good. You may not like the way she communicates her feelings, but she speaks from a place of love.
- She’s not a malicious woman, it’s just that the two of you do things differently. It’s OK, and you can learn from each other.
- She loves your children and is kind to them.
This exercise is really for your benefit. It helps get you in a positive frame of mind so that when you are physically in your mother-in-law’s presence, you are focusing on the best in her and not the worst. This often lets you see a situation from a whole new perspective and, over time, you’ll continue to see the good in her.
2. White Light
Visualize yourself surrounded by a divine white light for protection. Imagine this light protecting your energy fields from any sort of negativity. You can also visualize your loved one wrapped in a pink light of love.
- Engage – Arguing and engaging in negativity will lower your vibration and make you feel bad.
- Take it personally – Take a deep breath and try to let things roll off your back. If the energy vampire is generally negative anyway, they probably aren’t attacking you personally.
4. Raise Your Vibration
We are energetic beings and therefore, vibrate at a certain frequency. Positive emotions are light and allow us to vibrate at a high frequency. Negative emotions are heavier and denser, and lower our vibration.
The higher your vibration is, the more resistant you’ll be to energy vampires. There are many ways to raise your vibration, including:
- thinking about what you are grateful for each day
- listening to your favorite music
- looking for beauty in the world
- looking for the beauty in others
Tip: Wondering what your vibrational frequency is? Take notice of how you feel. Do you feel grateful and happy, or do you feel negative emotions? Your emotions are a great indicator of your frequency: the better you feel emotionally, the higher your vibration is.
Also remember: like attracts like. If you are mostly happy and sending out love, you’ll mostly get love back. That doesn’t mean that every second of every day will be perfect (negative emotions do serve a purpose), but you may notice that you tend to bring out the best in others. It’s spectacular!
5. Set Boundaries
I personally believe all the strategies we just talked about work well with most energy vampires. However, there may be times when someone feels so unaligned with you that you know it’s time to set firmer boundaries, or end your relationship.
If this is how you are feeling, it’s OK. Please don’t beat yourself up. One thing that’s helpful is to remember that part of living a heart-centered life is honoring ourselves, our feelings, and our journey.
I hope you’ve found this helpful, and that you now have a fresh perspective regarding energy vampires.