Women are often given the impression that that finding “the one” is direct and clear. He asks her out on a first date, he likes her, he asks her out again, and again. They see each other more and more. They decide to be exclusive, they make plans, they fall in love. Eventually he “pops the question,” they get married and they live happily ever after.
Unfortunately, the way it really plays out is rarely, if ever, that clear. Often, a man doesn’t know how he’s going to feel in the long term. Similarly, he may not know what he really wants. This makes it critical to give a true impression of yourself from the very start.
In a man’s eyes, the problem with women in relationships is that the more he gives, the more she will expect. He thinks that he will give and give and give, and eventually she’ll never be happy no matter how much more he gives or what he does. Therefore, many men will deny how they really feel until they’re absolutely certain they want to be in a relationship with that woman. Because as soon as “the L-word” enters the conversation, her expectations will be impossible for him to meet.
All a woman needs to do to change his expectations is to appear irresistible to him. The less you try to influence him, the higher your value will be to him. And the higher your value, the more radiant you will appear to him. He’ll see your self-worth and self-esteem–qualities that are rare in women. This will make him realize, “Hey, she makes it so easy to be in relationship with her!” Then before he knows it, he’s invested, he’s emotionally attached and he’s ready to commit 100%.
There’s no ultimatum needed on your part. You don’t even need to have the “Where are we going?” talk or the “Are we exclusive?” talk. Let him think that all of the ideas are coming from him. Because he’ll have come to realize by now that somebody else might snatch you away from if he doesn’t step up to the plate.
If exclusivity isn’t firmly planted in his heart or he’s not emotionally ready, there is no reason to try forcing him or talking him into it. The only commitment that will work and matter to a man is the one that he truly feels.
The sooner you realize you can’t control a man, the better it will be for you. Instead of working on your desirability factor, become a woman that a guy is willing to sacrifice for. That’s the only way to gain 100% commitment.
It’s even possible to upgrade a “friend with benefits” arrangement into a serious relationship by abandoning anxiety-ridden, controlling behaviors. Men who lie to the women they love, cheat on women and don’t communicate can be cultivated into men who crave long-term, lasting relationships. Become irresistible and his expectations will change. You’ll get that 100% commitment.