Are You a 9 – 5 Zombie?

Do you feel like you are one of the walking dead? No, not an undead, yet sentient being slowly trudging through the day. If you have a regular job that you view as boring, you may be more zombie than human.

Here are six ways to tell if you are turning into one of the corporate undead:

1. You Have an Insatiable and Endless Desire for Coffee

If you start your day groaning and wheezing your way to the coffeemaker because you can’t fully function without it. And if you crave it because you don’t see yourself as able to survive without your trip to the coffee shop or other source, you may be a zombie because you need the caffeine like a zombie needs brains. Caffeine serves the purpose, but would it not be better to not be so reliant on a stimulant?

2. You Shuffle Your Feet When You Walk

Is there a bounce in your step? Do you move briskly from destination to destination? Or do you trudge as if you were destined to meet your doom? And your posture? Do you stand proud as if you own the place, or are you slumping at your desk right now? If you are a slumper, you are moving towards a zombie. This slumping is not due to some physical issue, but a mental one that pulls you down and leaves you looking broken.

3. You Grunt, Groan, and Mumble

Corporate zombies don’t use words to communicate; instead, you groan, mumble and grunt. Zombies replace words with sounds. Whether you are a zombie or not, it is likely you know someone like this. The grunting and half answers may be normal in our teenage years, but as adults this is a sign of being a zombie.

4. You’ve Caught the Virus That’s Making the Rounds

You find yourself coughing, sneezing, and otherwise reacting to the misery that is the virus that your colleagues have been spreading around. This illness makes you more likely to lose focus and the ability to move, and you will appear more zombie-like than ever. Remember that those you are around are those you become, so choose carefully.

5. Your Job is So Easy You Don’t Need a Brain to Do It

You see your job as less than challenging, but it is easy. You don’t have to focus or put much effort into each task. If you feel like someone without a brain could do your job, you are most certainly a work zombie. Some jobs are simple, but a challenge keeps things exciting. If your job does not offer that challenge, create one for yourself.

6. You Sacrifice Sleep, Sex, and Good Food for Work

The walking dead don’t need sleep or sex or food.  They certainly don’t need or eat interesting and healthy food.   If you live a life centered around work and are so stressed out you can’t sleep, let alone participate in other bedtime activities, you are most definitely headed towards permanent residency in Zombie Town. Do something to shake yourself out of the funk even if it is outside of work.

Everyone needs a job to support themselves. However, to avoid becoming a zombie, you have to change your perspective from working to live rather than living to work. If you can, find an interesting and a little more rewarding job. If you can’t switch jobs, try to create a healthier balance by going to work and leaving at a reasonable time. Don’t respond to pressure to work overtime as a sacrifice for your health and happiness. Instead, take breaks during the day.  Go outside and breathe fresh out.  At the very least, commit to eating lunch away from your desk.